5 phrases, you can use to act like you understand current events.
By: Clara De Masi, Frida Møllegaard & Sara Nørskov
1.“What an idiot”
As sad as it is to say, if you’re hearing about something that someone did in the news these days, odds are they were being an idiot. Heck, even if you’re wrong, and it turns out that the main player in the event in question isn’t actually an idiot, you can always say you were talking about USA’s president because odds are the story involves him too and he’s pretty dumb.
2.“It never ends”
This is a broad statement that will always be true. News does, in fact, never end. If it did then we’d all be dead. This handy phrase will allow you to express your exhaustion with the world without dealing with the pratfalls that come with getting into specifics. It’s pretty much foolproof!
3.“Is it 2020 yet?”
Another way to spin a conversation about current events in your favor is to just bring up the next presidential election. Even when it’s not relevant, it feels like it is due to the vague, underlying feeling that an election will somehow make all this insanity go away. Bringing up the election will allow you to steer the conversation to a topic you have a better grasp on. Rather than trying to keep up with every new breaking story, you can just learn about one candidate that seems vaguely plausible and talk about them!
4.“I don’t want to think about this stuff right now!”
That said, if learning about an election that won’t happen for two years is still more than you can bear, just use this useful phrase. If you get exasperated and ask to change the subject it will make it seem like you’re SO informed about everything that you just can’t take it anymore. Nobody will suspect that the only reason you want the subject changed is that you don’t know shit.
5.“ UGHHHH!!!!!”
If all else fails, just make whatever meaningless, guttural noise feels right to you. It will always be an applicable response. Whenever you find yourself in the midsts of something that seems political, just nod, grunt, and let other people rant.
