KNOW YOUR DELEGATION: A not very in-depth review of all the ambassador speeches.
By: Josefine Juel Huusom and Elias Søgaard Godballe Schmidt
Even though the EGMUN 2018 had a rough start at the disorganized opening ceremony in Elsinore, some of the ambassador speeches gave a reasonable impression of what the following days conference may look like.
China. The first ambassador to take the floor was China. Only when the Caucasian boy bowed down and delivered a kind of racist “Ni hao” in a high pitched voice, had the real EGMUN begun. The unnerving realization that China does, in fact, own us, certainly had its effect too.
DPR Korea. After China, the ambassador of the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea kept up the typical EGMUN style by addressing everybody in the room as peasants. As mandatory for North Korea, the delegation expressed it’s goal to, in the near future, seize the world dominion and subject us all to communist hell.
Israel. Subsequently, the ambassador of the State of Israel called God’s fury upon us to avenge every mistreated jew in the world history. He was also about two biblical references from summoning actual lightning.
Italy. Firstly, is the delegation of Italy aware of it is possible to adjust the microphone to your own preferences? Although the pizza-nation is famous for loudness and passionate language, we unfortunately missed a lot. With that being said, the Republic of Italy was the one of the only ambassadors who emphasizes the importance of realistic issues instead of focusing on the humoristic aspect. Thank you, next.
Japan. As Japan claimed that they are more than just anime and sushi, using references to old American folk songs, the ambassador also made it very clear that he will be right outside the ceremony: eager to trade Pokémon cards.
Russia. We think everyone got an unsettling impression that, yes, Russia is definitely part of the Illuminati, when the ambassador impressively held up a Russian accent for all of the speech. He also expressed his displeasure regarding everything that had to do with bettering the climate, so good luck with that, UNEP.
UK: The reporters on the balcony were distracted by the UK ambassador’s outrageously pleasant accent, and thus did not really get the main points of the speech. God bless the queen.
USA. As the United States of America’s ambassador closed the ball wearing a bright red Make America Great Again hat, clearly expressing her commitment to being unselfish and work together in order to create a better world. Joke. She did deliver the most inspirational quote of the ceremony though; grab the discussions by their genitalia.
